Dating? It’s a minefield out there but it’s ours to conquer

Dating? It’s a minefield out there but it’s ours to conquer

Guest editor Carol Vorderman shares her top tips on dating in your 50s

Guest editor Carol Vorderman shares her top tips on dating in your 50s

Does dating change the older you get? Or are the fundamentals of it the same as when we were all running around the school playground?

I think at the heart of it, we are all the same as we were when we were kids, ok not the knee-high socks and pig tails (probably!), but fundamentally it’s the same old stuff. BTW, I never could catch Julian Ellis when I was 6, he used to outrun me on kiss-chase every time!

Some of those classic dating pitfalls will stay the same whatever your age, and it natural to get nerves on a first date, experience awkward silences, thoughts of ‘can I be bothered with a second date?’ – but I think we can put them down to us all being human, always learning and not being perfect.

What does change, is our self-confidence. Hopefully you have learnt to love more of yourself than you did in your 20s and 30s and whatever your marital status, you are truly more empowered these days. And for me? It’s how I approach things. I want to live every moment embracing things totally and living for no regrets. Remember, we only have one very precious life to live so let’s not forget to live it!

So here we go, my top tips on dating… (thanks as well to all my gorgeous friends for imparting their wisdom too).

Dating is meant to be FUN. Come home from that date with a smile on your face, not a list of reasons why they weren’t the next ‘Mr Right’…remember he never said he would be. Whether men or women, we have a better time when we are positive, joyful and enjoying life.

Don’t get nervous, we aren’t looking for a partner to settle down and have children with!! It’s much less of an onerous task nowadays. This time it’s about fun and doing interesting things with someone who brings something new to the table.

Your first “date” can imply pressure for romance and all that goes with it. BUT if you think of it as just a friendly meet up with a potential new friend and go for lunch or coffee, you take away all the pressure of a dinner date on Saturday night.

I say, think afresh and broaden your horizons when it comes to preferences like age, interests and location. There are a LOT of great people out there, so whatever your preferences get out there and meet new people.

You never know what might happen so don’t be scared to give something a go, say yes to someone you might not normally say yes to, but make sure they’re interesting in one way or another (none of us want to be bored!).

Look for friendship first. Keep it platonic for a few dates. BTW you learn a lot about someone if you go walking with them...it’s a couple of hours in the fresh air chatting, and not having to do the eye contact thing (otherwise you trip up) but you’ll get their rhythm pretty quickly.

Be ok and confident sticking to what YOU want – whether it’s a serious long-term relationship or a casual date night partner, you are 50% of any relationship so you are always equally as important as the other. Do NOT get pushed into something more than YOU want, but, be clear about it from the get go.

Leave the past in the past, who wants to sit and listen to a whole pile of woes about what a bad divorce someone had…nobody wants to know really…remember dating is meant to be a fun.

And finally, don’t commit too quickly if you are new to the dating game. You haven’t signed up to a ‘relationship’ on date one, have you?

How have you been navigating the world of dating? Or are you single and loving it? Share your tips below and share with the rest of this wonderful and supportive community.

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